Shameless self-promotion, December edition

Here, in a bid to convince Google-happy employers of the future that I didn’t (just) sit on the floor eating bonbons for the whole of 2016, are some actual real-life places you can find my work this month. If you want, I mean. No pressure. Bonbon?

Ohhhhhhh Comely

Be the sexiest mofo in your local artisanal coffee house with issue 34 of Oh Comely. It includes my piece about returning to the motherland, but don’t let that put you off – there’s also pretty photography! And time travel! And other writers who don’t throw exclams around like cheap confetti at a 1960s wedding! Check out the sampler then buy it here and head to Costa, tiger.

99 problems but a chainstitch ain’t one

What do you mean, you haven’t yet crocheted a giant retro stocking for your child/partner/cat? Do you have hands and eyes? Then there is no excuse. I made this in a weekend and my fingers almost fell off – totally worth it. Find the pattern in Your Crochet Christmas and get your RSI on this December.

BONUS: Make two and you can use them as actual stockings for a giant or someone with elephantitis of the legs.

Is this real life? Better, it’s MacLife!

I have something in super-awesome US tech title MacLife this month. Do I remember what? No. Is it good? Maybe. Does it feature passive-aggressive mention of something weird my husband does? Almost certainly. Perhaps long-suffering editor Matt will step in and help us out. I’m sure he has nothing better to do SORRY MATT I TRIED. #brandscaping

Edit: Thanks Matt! January 2017 issue, I share my efforts to stop eating like every meal is my last. 

But wait, there’s also some award humblebragging

Chris and I won a PPA Scotland award! Sure, it was in a novelty category, but frankly the same could be said for most of my lifetime achievements. Thank you, PPA! Fistbump!

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